It's been a minute or two since I last posted but my life took a little turn down Poopy Lane and I am just now finding my way back!! At the end of January I got Shingles and a round of the EXCRUCIATING pain that accompanies it. My doctor put me on amitriptyline, although it did help with the pain it also had two nasty side effects. I was sleeping 20 hours a day, I could not even keep my eyes open. And I was craving sweets like mad, if one Twinkie is good then, of course, five is better! I took a leave of absence from work, between the pain and the sleeping there was no way I could function and during that time I gained 17lbs. All this time I was still waiting to hear if my appeal with my insurance company was successful or if I needed to come up with $15,000 for this surgery.
On Feb 27th I managed to wake myself from my drug haze long enough to read a letter congratulating on my approval for my LapBand!! I called Misty, the insurance guru / facilitator / nurse at the Weight Management Clinic, about 13 seconds after I got done running around my house screaming at the top of my lungs. She scheduled the appointment with my surgeon at 9 am on 03/14 and 2 pm on the same day to go over the pre-op and first two weeks post-op diet with her. My surgeon was awesome, she tolerated all my 'what-if' scenarios and gave me a very realistic picture of the bad things that can happen with the band. For about 5 min I had a freak-out and considered changing to bypass. I am not afraid of hard work, I know what got me to where I am and I am determined to make changes and I really like the idea of being accountable for my success. I want to be able to look at my before and after pics and say "That's right, I did that. Bitches be trippin'!!" So we ended with scheduling my surgery for 04/02 at 230 pm.
Later that day I met with Misty to get the DL on the pre and post-op diets. My doctor requires at least 10 days pre-op liquid diet and that commenced on 03/26, I think now it might have been a mistake to start on a Monday. On Sunday night I said good-bye to pop, I think we had a great run at it, Dr. Pepper and I. But I just couldn't take his sugary deliciouness anymore. The cravings are starting to go away now and I have lost 4 of the 17 lbs I gained when I was down with Shingles.
Now that it is real, like really for reals real, I find myself getting scared. What if i fail? What if I have to have it removed? What if I never wake up? What if all the cows take over the world and make humans their slaves and there is no more milk chocolate? You (my yet to be identified reader) might as well know that I can be a smidge dramatic and I can revel in it, like a pig in mud. I think one of the reasons I love Peaches so much is the way he handles the 'what iffing' and when Blanche DuBois (my overly dramatic, slightly crazy alter ego) makes an appearance. He never scoffs or points out my irrationalisms, but carries on a serious conversation with real answers. Eventually the absurdity of his answers allow me to take a step back and realize I am the fodder for the crazy fire. At that point I can admit that I might be a little, ensy, bensy bit cuckoo...just a scootch mind you!
Anywho, that's where I am now. Peeing every four minutes, seriously considering setting up my laptop in the ladies room at work so I could actually get something done. Drooling over a coupon for Buffalo Wild Wings. Having outrageous 'sex' dreams that end up with me turning my back on the hottie and diving into a sundae. I will be a more active blogger from now on! Cross my droopy boobies and hope to never have cheese sticks again.