All about Minimizing

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A long day of liquids

I want to chew something, chew it up and swallow it!!  I want to each something crunchy.  I made Hot and Sour soup last night and strained all the goodies out of mine.  A teeny, tiny piece of celery made its way into my tupperware for lunch and when I unknowingly crunched on that little piece of heaven the world slowed on its axis.   We met, I chewed, he crunched and was over.  All too quickly.

Tonight I made some delicious Beer Cheese Soup for din din!  A one cup serving is just 180 calories and 12g of protein and bonus-Peaches even enjoyed it.  I actually had a defining moment while I was cooking.  I had all the veggies, broth, milk and flour in my dutch oven and I was waiting for it to boil.  I got distracted and started reading a gardening magazine and next thing I know I smell scorched milk and my pot was close to boiling over.  I dumped out the grossness and there was a THICK crust of burnt milk and flour on the bottom of the pot and here is where I made a decision that gave me strength to go another 7 weeks with nothing crunchy to munch on.  I didn't just abandon making dinner and run to McDonald's.  In the past that is exactly what I would have done, I would have sped down the street and ordered that number one, why yes I would like to make that a large and why don't your throw in two more hamburgers that I can eat on the way home.  Heaven knows I am so under nourished I could faint at any second without food in my mouth.  And that my friends, is the secret to my relationship with Hot Dutchess.

Have I mentioned Hot Dutchess before?  She is the lowest, largest of my fat rolls.  The one that has caused people to ask if am pregnant, the one that makes is near impossible to paint my own toes, the one that creates a perfect seal to the skin of my pubic area and sweats all day.  Actually the pregnant thing is really funny, I have a pretty dry sense of humor and I am not really sensitive about my weight, so when I get the occasional question about due date or congratulations from a co-worker I don't see often I get a giant kick in the pants from the look on their face when I tell them that I am not in fact prego, just lardo.  Too funny!!  I once even got a lecture from a cashier at Albertson's about the irresponsibility of drinking while pregnant.  I told her that I thought Fetal Alcohol Syndrome babies were cute (I, in fact do not think this but really felt the need to shock her) she almost had a heart attack. 

10 more days until this party really gets started, 38 more days of a liquid/puree/mushy diet.  I can do this, I will do this.  My relationship with Hot Dutchess has come to an end.


  1. Beer cheese soup sounds really good :)

  2. New follower and this post cracked me up! "I think fetal alcohol syndrom babies are cute." I would've loved to have seen her face. :)