I need a fill....bad!!!

I am hurtin for a fill, Wednesday can't come soon enough.  I spent this whole weekend just snacking away, some 'good' snacks and lots of 'bad' snacks.  I just can't seem to keep on track on the weekends, this is something I need to really wrap my head around and figure out.  All week long I eat my meals, have a protein drink when I am hungry, track all my food, ensure I am getting my liquids, but I think on the weekends when I do not have a schedule I lose track of what/when the plan is.  Uggggg!! 

Then I get mad at myself for eating a handful of chips that I don't really even want ans I find myself torturing myself by hopping my chubby butt up on the scale.  I can't seem to keep myself off or it so I sat myself (Blanche) down and gave her/me a good talking to.  I know I am working my ass off in the gym, I am eating great at least 90% of the time and holding myself accountable for everything.  Eff the scale, stupid effing thing.  I continue to weigh myself but I REFUSE to let it rule my mood and my life.  I know I am lifting heavier weights, completing my circuits faster and running harder/longer than I have in 8+ years, these are the yardsticks I will measure myself by, not a silly little number given to my by a demon filled piece of poop!! 

Soooooo......a couple things that could possibly fall in the TMI catagory, you have been warned.  I have never ever farted so much in my life as I do since I got banded.  I knew that being 'a little gassy' was a possibility, but I am a farting machine!  When I was planking (see pic below) the other day at the gym, I was going for a new personal record of a full minute and I felt 'it' coming on.

 'It' was there and 'it' was going to be BIG.  I don't know if planking is the same for everyone but when I do 'it' I shake ALL over, this quivering of my entire body was shaking something loose.  At around 30 sec into it I knew 'it' was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop 'it'.  Luckily Mr. Muscle and I were the only ones in the training room at the time, so I just let him know that I was going to make it to the minute but I was also going to have a delivery and he might want to back up.  He started laughing, that made me laugh and that made the shaking even harder.  When 'it' finally arrived it was a frickin foghorn!!! I am not easily embarrassed, but even this honker echoing through the room got me blushing....BTW I did hold my plank through all of this for the full minute!

The other thing is my monthly cycle, I don't actually have the equipment to have one but all of the sudden it seems like I have a PMS week.  Craving chocolate sooo badly I could cry, crying over anything and everything, retaining water and even kind of crampy.  This is really really weird, so much so that I made an appt with my gyno to get checked out.  She said everything looks fine in the crotchal region but did take blood tests to check hormones.  Strange and kind of scary. 

One last thing before I go...I love the smell of my sweat.  Not like the sitting in a car with no air conditioning in August in Texas sweaty stink, but my lifting, running, pulling, pushing, planking, stepping, jumping sweat.  I love the feeling of it dripping down my face and body.  I like to see the puddle forming under me when I am doing push-ups.  And I LOVE to give my pits a little sniffy sniff.  That wonderful aroma is 'exhaust' from my engine (hahahaha, maybe my farts are the exhaust too!) burning through my fat ass and jiggly gut.  Whenever I get home from the gym I try to get Peaches as excited as I am about my bouquet, but he is just not nearly as excited as I would like him to be!!  He did however let me know my butt is getting 'butt shapier', apparently my butt and thigh are no longer just one big slab of meat.  There is an actual butt shelf, a little sumpin sumpin to cup!  Yah for my butt shapier, butt.  I will be doing some pics on Friday, my two month bandiversary.