All about Minimizing

Monday, May 7, 2012

Changing my relationship with sugar

Every since the humiliating Cadbury incident I have avoided candy/chocolate/sugar all together.  It's been 25 days and it has been HARD!  I knew I ate a lot of candy/sugar before all this started, but I always thought I was in control of this (just like any addict).  I could stop whenever I want, I don't have to have it...blah blah blah.  Well that was all BS, I don't have any control over my sugar intake, I do have to have it, I am not able to just stop.  Everyday I wake up dreaming about milky ways and sour patch kids.  My brother-in-law came into town for a work conference last Wed and stayed the night with us.  After dinner he ran to the gas station to get some cigarettes and came home carrying a Dr. Pepper and Sour Patch Kids...I nearly knocked him over and stole them both.  DP and SPK is my fav combo of all time, I can remember being 9 or 10 years old and having that at the movies.  I literally spent the night drooling while thinking about them.

When I was 18 I got into heroin, after a bad car accident (while I was high) in which I severely injured my foster brother my family gave me the ultimatum: rehab or leave the family.  At that point the threat of losing my family is the ONLY thing that would have gotten me to commit to my recovery.  So I spent 6 months in rehab and learned some very valuable life lessons.
  1. You can admit you don't have control over something in your life and still be a strong person.
  2. You (and others) can and will forgive you for mistakes you made, if you are genuinely remorseful.
  3. There is a great amount of power in 'the group'.  The rehab center I spent my time in was a 12 step center, so we spent a lot of time in group meetings/therapy.
  4. You need to be an active participant in your recovery, you can't just be along for the ride.
  5. Addiction feeds on excuses.  If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them, forever limiting yourself. 
  6. You alone are in charge of your life, you alone have the power to change it - for the good and the bad.
 I made the commitment 12 years, 5 months, 9 days ago and have never touched drugs again.  However, I find myself addicted to sugar now.  I really feel it is an addition, I physically crave it.  My plan when I cut it out last month was just to change my relationship with sugar.  To allow myself the time to see that I will survive without it, that I can just have a treat once in a while and not die.  I did not have a time limit in mind when I stopped my sugar intake, so I will just keep on with it but everyday I get further away from it I get a more confident in my ability to treat it with respect and moderation.  In rehab it gets beaten in your brain that you will NEVER EVER be able to just have a little, I guess I won't know until I try if that is true with sugar.  For now I feel a little more secure distancing myself from it.


  1. I congratulate you on being drug free for so long. I think sugar might be even harder to get rid of just because it's EVERYWHERE and LEGAL and easily accessible and generally accepted. :)

  2. I've been trying to figure out a way to not have sf stuff on my pre-op diet .... I'm like really??? It's 2 freaking weeks for SF and I'm all panicing... I hate sf taste. Thanks for the post and the honesty I know I'm not alone.

  3. wow! This is powerful. I am totally a sugar addict - I will stop at nothing when I am craving..and yes, I eat it in secret too and hide the evidence - shame....Can I do cold turkey? I don't know ...but you are inspiring me to try!

  4. Love, love, love this!!! Thanks for sharing your experience and those lessons you learned in rehab are so good! They really do apply to any type of addiction! And I know I'm inspired by them in dealing with my food addiction. Good job!

  5. Oh my gosh- i'm a sugar addict too! I wonder if I can do cold turkey? I will eat it in secret, and I will eat it in COPIUS amounts... yucky. Anywho- thanks for sharing. I think I need to address this sugar thing.